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…Jennifer’s Journey: 9 months post surgery…

In one month and a week, I am getting married! This weight loss journey was largely motivated by the fact that I was about to begin my life, with someone I love, and I wanted to make sure that I began that life as healthy and as happy as I possibly could. Since I first started this journey I have lost just under 100 pounds. Every time I say that it blows my mind! I feel (and look) like a totally different person. Now I will not lie, there are times where I have sat in bed, sick to my stomach because I ate something that I should not have or ate too fast, and have cursed the surgery. But in the grand scheme of life, I know that I made the right choice. Some things that I have learned since I am now about 9 months out of surgery.

1. This is a lifelong process: I have good days and bad days. Some days I do great and eat slow and get tons of protein and water and everything is great. Some days I slip up and have a soft drink or some candy. I get frustrated and eat too quickly and feel sick to my stomach and hate food. This is a journey. Not something that happens overnight.

2. I am more self conscious about how I look: Now this can be both a good and a bad thing. It is good because I am learning to love my new body. I love that I have tons more clothing to choose from and I love that I don’t get tired going up a flight (or three) of stairs and that I can run around the basketball or tennis court and not feel like passing out after five minutes. It is a bad thing because people are always hyper focused on my body and being someone who has struggled with my body image, it is hard to have people comment (even positively) about my body and how it has changed.

3. There are hidden expenses: I knew that losing weight would be fun and I knew that I would have to buy new clothes, but I did not realize the frequency that would happen. I am in the middle of cleaning out my closet and I have realized that almost everything I own hangs ill fittingly from my body. I have to also purchase new bras (which ladies know get super expensive i.e. $50+ each) every month. This in addition to planning for a wedding has really hit my pocket book. I also have to get a lot more blood work done and most of the labs are covered by insurance, but there is still a portion that I end up paying out of pocket every time I go to the doctor.

4. There is a lot of blood work: To go back to what I just mentioned, I have gotten so used to people taking my blood I can point them to the best arm and location to draw from. This is not something that I particularly enjoy, but I know that just about every time I go to a medical office, I will be asked to give some blood samples so they can measure my levels.

5. Everyday is something new: The good and the bad, the ups and the downs, everyday I find something new to enjoy about this process. I find myself absentmindedly tapping on my collarbone because I can now see it prominently showing. I find myself belting all of my outfits to show off how small my waist has become during this time. I enjoy spending less when I go out to eat and having tons of food left over.

No matter what, this process has been one that has been both challenging and rewarding. It is a life decision that you have to make and stick with it. As I said I do fall off the wagon at times, but I think I am more motivated than ever to stay on track because I see the success that I can have if I continue to work hard after surgery. My goal now is to enter into the coveted “Onderland” or what we call those who are in the 100s weight range. My hope is to get into my goal weight area and then find ways to maintain this weight goal in a way that is reasonable and manageable for my schedule. I also look forward to being able to wear the wedding dress of my dreams because I can actually fit into the mainstream dresses and was not limited to the “Plus Size” section this time. Life is good!

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…Jennifer’s Journey: 70 Days and Counting…

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It has been a while since I last posted. The school year has geared back up, I am trying to be a better teacher. The second year of teaching is definitely much more enjoyable and less stressful than the first year of teaching. Wedding planning has also been in full swing as we are working on putting together the invitations and finding a DJ!

It is exactly 70 days since my surgery and I am about 75 pounds away from my goal weight! I would have never thought it possible to not only lose weight, but also keep the weight off. Last post I wrote about the process of actually having the surgery done. That was the easy part. Well not easy, the recovery sucked, but I did not have to do much work during this part of the process. I got to get put to sleep as a surgeon tore open my body and removed a piece of it. I then was able to sleep while my body fought to repair itself. What I did not realize was how much mental and emotion strain would come after all was said and done. I would still hands down do the surgery again in a heartbeat, but the process to recovery was rocky and difficult and eye opening.
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In the hospital before they would let me leave, I had to walk at least 3 times a day. This was a painful process as my incisions were still trying to heal and I was tender to the touch. The infamous Nurse Jackie would tell me that I needed to walk and walk and walk while all I wanted to do was sleep and sleep and sleep. To Nurse Jackie’s defense, the surgeon said that walking around is one of the quickest ways to encourage healing during this time period. Walking (and movement in general) forces more blood to flood to the site of surgery allowing for it to get more nutrients at a quicker rate.

I had to stay in the hospital and extra night because of the low amount of fluids that I was able to tolerate. Fluids during this period of time are extremely important to keeping your body hydrated and getting in the required nutrients. For two weeks after surgery you are on a liquid only diet. During this time my life consisted of broth, jello, popsicles, and protein shakes. I never thought that I was an emotional eater. I was not someone to sit around and eat my feelings away. But, during this two-week period I realized that food is so central to human interactions and relationships. Friends would invite me out to eat and I would have to decline because first I could not eat anything and second I was completely miserable. I hated having such a limited amount of food to choose from. There are only so many combinations of soup-jello- protein shake that you can make. During this time my fiancé was away in Guatemala on a trip that had been planned months before. I realized that for the first time that I could ever remember, I became depressed over eating. I did not want to eat and lucky for me, I did not have much of an appetite and had to force myself to eat 3-4 times a day (small meals of course) to get in my required protein. I was easily irritable and had to force myself to get up and out of bed every single day. I have struggled with depression throughout my life and I this period of time really pushed me mentally all over the place. I realized that I was not receiving my required amount of anti depression because the medicine was going through my system too quickly. This mixed with the inability to eat made me unbearable. I am so lucky that not only did my fiancé stick by me, she tried and tried and tried to do everything in her power to make me feel like I was important and that I was not going through this alone. It was one of the roughest periods of my life.

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One major positive that I saw right after the surgery was the fact that I was about to cut out 2/3 rd of the medicine that I was taking. I had a blood pressure medicine to help control my migraine headaches. I was completely off of that medicine within 2 weeks post surgery. I have also seen a significant decrease in the number of migraine headaches that I’ve had. Prior to surgery, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and it has all but disappeared since. I have more energy and my skin is clearer (although I did have a few weeks of breakouts as my hormones readjusted to the weight loss).

Recently I had my one month check in with the surgeon and my primary care provider and everything checked out okay. They said that my progress is actually on the higher side and that I will probably be at my goal weight within 10-12 months even though my weight loss has definitely started to slow down (I was originally losing anywhere from 15-20 lbs a week to now losing about 5 lbs a week). I did make one unexpected pit stop to the ER (I had gastritis and an infection), but after fluids and antibiotics I was able to bounce right back. My surgeon and nutritionist have been super available and have worked with me every step of the way.

At first I did not see a difference, but now I can definitely tell, especially when trying on different outfits that have been hanging in my closet. My face is more defined and my jackets hang off of me quite a bit more. I get compliments quite a bit. It is a little weird to hear people say that I am thin (even though I wouldn’t go as far as to say that). I am still uncomfortable when people point out my weight (or lack of it) as I have been self conscious about it my entire life. This is slowly changing and I am definitely happier with how I feel overall.

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